Signs of Happiness

Entry taken from my old blog:

 
Today I went to Pengajian Bulanan and Annual General Meeting of Indonesian Islamic Society of Brisbane (IISB). The ustadz was Romzi Ali from Sydney, who talked about Signs of Happiness (Tanda-tanda Kebahagiaan). I will write what he talked about, so that I don't forget.. and passing the knowledge to others (hopefully) brings amal shaleh..amin!

He told of Ibnu Abbas ra. (one of Allah's Apostle who was given the gift of memorising the Qur'an at the age of 9, and was specially prayed for by Prophet Muhammad PBUH), who was once asked by the Tabi'in (the generation after the death of Prophet Muhammad PBUH) what is meant by happiness. He answered that there are 7 signs (great things comes in 3s.. or 7s.. hehe --ga penting deh chi..):

1. QALBUN SYAAKIRUUN: A heart that is always grateful to الله, and qana'ah, feeling enough with small things. Well, I see it as feeling enough with what we have, whether it is a lot or barely anything, since it is human nature that we will never feel enough, regardless of how much we have. Ustadz Romzi described if we have $500, we feel enough spending $300, but if we have $700, then we feel we must spend $500 and $300 would be felt insufficient, and so on. Kalo Indonesianya sih.. qana'ah = bahagia apa adanya ;)
2. AL AZWAJU SHALIHAH: (Wichi's heart goes "WAAAA!!!" trus mupeng deh, hehe, didn't realise this would come second on the list, caught me off guard there and made me feel all butterfly-in-the-stomach ) This means: a shaleh/pious partner (husband/wife). Well, enough of the wonderings and the blushing... The Ustadz said there is an example in Q.S.At-Tahrim: 10-12 of a shaleh wife but kafir husband (Pharaoh and his wife), a shaleh husband but a kafir wife (Prophets Noah/Nuh as.and Lot/Luth as. and their wives), and a shaleh family all the way, such as that of Maryam and her family (the Ali-Imran family). Wouldn't we all want to be like Maryam... having generations before and after of shaleh families... As Wichi continues to wander and blush, the Ustadz went on of how the men are given the heavy burden of being responsible for their role as imam of the family... they cannot go anywhere in the Day of Judgment (i.e. up to heaven) if their family, especially their wives account them for being an irresponsible imam. The quality of responsibility here is of course according to الله and not according to us (man or woman!). So if there is the debate of Islam downgrading women, we must question what is the quality of the downgrading, according to whose values? Because in the end الله's values are what count above everything else... And yes.. Wichi continues to wander and blush and sigh dreamily... ....
3. AL AULADUN ABRAR: Yes, a shaleh/abrar child. We know the power of the prayer of a shaleh child, the Prophet PBUH in a hadith stated that there are three good deeds that will not die with a person after he dies, amal jariyah, useful knowledge, and the prayer of a pious child (I think it was Sahih Bukhari/Muslim).... The Prophet PBUH also in another hadith stated that taking care of parents in a form of jihad in itself.. Subhanallah... (Another emotional moment as Wichi's mind wanders off to her parents... miss them.. huhuhu... )
4. ALBIATU SHALIHAH: A conducive environment for our piety. Indeed, Wichi really feels for this. I get carried away easily, I must stay in an environment that nurtures my iman otherwise I'm really vulnerable to bad things (haha! bad, bad excuse...) The Ustadz spoke of how we should leave a country if the environment is doing bad things to our own iman, such was the case of the Prophet PBUH's hijrah from Makkah to Madinah.
5. ALMALUL HALAL: Owning halal wealth. We don't need much wealth, as long as it is halal. Halal not just of what we get, but what we use it for. Halal not for just material things, but how we use it, and even for food. There was a saying (forgot if it was hadith or not) pinned on the mushalla of my old school in Chemistry ITB (how old Chi.. baru 1 tahun ninggalin Kimia juga..sok2an.. hehe ) that said along the lines of what the Ustadz was saying: if you are in doubt, leave it! This is the case especially for food. Here in Australia it's always the case of doubting if the food we eat is halal, even if it has a halal sign, doesn't mean it is!! Scary huh.. was thinking of turning vegetarian just to be safe, hehe. Because anything that is doubtful to you is closer to being haram... It's important to maintain the halal-ness (Wichi's new word!!) of everything around you... there was a hadith telling a story of how someone kept praying to the maximum extent but was not being granted, because his food and earnings are haram!
6. TAFAKUH FI DIEN: The chance of learning.. of getting knowledge. The ustadz said there are three important things a Muslim should learn first: 1. ma'rifatullah: learn Allah, 2. ma'rifaturrasul: learn of the Rasul PBUH, 3. ma'rifatul dien: learn the religion (Islam)... The more we learn, the more we know and understand, the more we will love الله and the more our heart is filled with الله's NUR (light). Subhanallah...
7. UMUR BARAKAH: The time we spend, is a fruitful and blessed one. I was reminded of a training where we were given a piece of paper, and divide the paper into 10 pieces. 1 block represent 10 years of our lives. We cut off the end according to our life expectancy (so 3 pieces off, if we were to live to 70 years), then we cut off the other end according to our age because it has gone past. Most of the people were left with just one small piece of paper! Even though mine was a bit bigger (since I was younger than most people there) it did get me thinking.. wow, my life is only this left!! How can I make use of it?? Yes, it is important that the time we spend we don't regret, because we have filled it with amal shaleh and total devotion to الله...

(Based on Romzi Ali in the Pengajian Bulanan and AGM IISB Brisbane, Australia, Aug 23, 2008 with reference to 7 Indikator Kebahagiaan Dunia, adapted freely by Wichitra Yasya)

Yvonne Ridley - How I Came to Love the Veil

Written by Yvonne Ridley

Tuesday, 31 October 2006

I used to look at veiled women as quiet, oppressed creatures and now I look at them as multi-skilled, multi-talented, resilient women whose brand of sisterhood makes Western feminism pale into insignificance. POLITICIANS AND JOURNALISTS just love to write about the oppression of women in Islam ... without even talking to the females beneath the veil. They simply have no idea how Muslim women are protected and respected within the Islamic framework which was built more than 1400 years ago. Yet, by writing about cultural issues like child brides, female circumcision, honor killings and forced marriages they wrongly believe they are coming from a point of knowledge. And I am sick of Saudi Arabia being cited as an example of how women are subjigated in a country where they are banned from driving. The issues above have simply nothing to do with Islam yet they still write and talk about them with an arrogant air of authority while wrongly blaming Islam. Please do not confuse cultural behavior with Islam. I was asked to write about how Islam allows men to beat their wives. Sorry, not true. Yes, I'm sure critics of Islam will quote random Qur'anic verses or ahadith but all are usually taken out of context. If a man does raise a finger to his wife, he is not allowed to leave a mark on her body ... this is another way of the Qur'an saying; "Don't beat your wife, stupid". Now let's take a glance at some really interesting statistics, hmm. I can almost hear the words pot, kettle, black. According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, four million American women experience a serious assault by a partner during an average 12-month period. On the average, more than three women are murdered by their husbands and boyfriends every day . . . that is nearly 5,500 women battered to death since 9/11. Some might say that is a shocking indictment on such a civilized society, but before I sound too smug, I would say that violence against women is a global issue. Violent men do not come in any particular religious or cultural category. The reality is that one out of three women around the world has been beaten, coerced into sex or otherwise abused during her lifetime. Violence against women transcends religion, wealth, class, skin color and culture. However, until Islam came on the scene women were treated as inferior beings. In fact we women still have a problem in the West where men think they are superior. This is reflected in our promotion and wages structure right across the spectrum from cleaners to career women who make it into the boardroom. Western women are still treated as commodities, where sexual slavery is on the rise, disguised under marketing euphemisms, where womens’ bodies are traded throughout the advertising world. As mentioned before, this is a society where rape, sexual assault, and violence on women is commonplace, a society where the equality between men and women is an illusion, a society where a womens’ power or influence is usually only related to the size of her breasts. I used to look at veiled women as quiet, oppressed creatures and now I look at them as multi-skilled, multi-talented, resilient women whose brand of sisterhood makes Western feminism pale into insignificance. My views changed after the truly terrifying experience of being arrested by the Taleban for sneaking into Afghanistan in September 2001 wearing the bhurka. During my 10-day captivity I struck a deal that if they let me go I would read the Quran and study Islam. Against all the odds, it worked and I was released. In return I kept my word but as a journalist covering the Middle East I realized I needed to expand my knowledge of a religion which was clearly a way of life. And no. I'm not a victim of Stockholm Syndrome. To be a victim you have to bond with your captors. During my imprisonment I spat, swore, cursed and abused my jailers as well as refusing their food and going on hunger strike. I don't know who was happier when I was released - them or me! Reading the Quran was, I thought, going to be a very simple academic exercise. I was stunned to discover that ut clearly stated women are equal in spirituality, education and worth. A woman’s gift for child birth and child-rearing is very much recognised as a quality and attribute. Muslim women say with pride they are homemakers and housewives. Furthermore The Prophet (pbuh) said that the most important person in the home was The Mother, The Mother, The Mother. In fact he also said that heaven lies at the feet of the mother. How many women make it into the top 100 power lists for simply being a "great mother"? With Islam choosing to remain at home and raise children takes on a new dignity and respect in my eyes, similar to those sisters among us who choose to go out to work and have careers and professions. I then began looking at inheritance, tax, property and divorce laws. This is where Hollywood divorce lawyers probably get their inspiration from. For instance the woman gets to keep what she earns and owns while the man has to stump up half his worth. Isn’t it funny the way the tabloid media gets very excited over the prospect of some pop or film stars pre-nuptial wedding agreement? Muslim women have had wedding contracts from day one. They can choose if they want to work or not and anything they earn is theirs to spend while the husband has to pay for all the household bills and the upkeep of his family. Just about everything that feminists strived for in the 70s was already available to Muslim women 1400 years ago. As I said, Islam dignifies and brings respect to motherhood and being a wife. If you want to stay at home, stay at home. It is a great honor to be a home maker and the first educater of your children. But equally, the Quran states if you want to work, then work. Be a career woman, learn a profession become a politician. Be what you want to be and excel in what you do as a Muslim because everything you do is in praise of Allah (swt). There is an excessive, almost irritating concentration or focus on the issue of Muslim womens’ dress particularly by men (both Muslim and non-Muslim). Yes, it is an obligation for Muslim women to dress modestly but, in addition, there are many other important issues which concern Muslim women today. And yet everyone obsesses over the hijab. Look, it is part of my business suit. This tells you I am a Muslim and therefore I expect to be treated with respect. Can you imagine if someone told a Wall Street executive or Washington banker to put on a t-shirt and jeans? He would tell you his business suit defines him during work hours, marks him out to be treated seriously. And yet in Britain we have had the former Foreign Secretary Jack Straw describing the nikab - the face veil revealing only the eyes - as an unwelcome barrier. When, oh when, will men learn to keep their mouths shut over a woman's wardrobe? We also had Government Ministers Gordon Brown and John Reid express disparaging remarks about the nikab - both these men come from over the Scottish Borders where men wear skirts!! Then we had a series of other parliamentarians enter the fray describing the nikab as a barrier for communication. What a load of nonsense. If this was the case can anyone explain to me why cell phones, landlines, emails, text messaging and fax machines are in daily use? Who listens to the radio? No one switches off the wireless because they can not see the face of the presenter. The majority of sisters I know who choose to wear the nikab are actually white, Western reverts who no longer want the unwelcome attention of those few leering men who will try and confront females and launch into inappropriate behavior. Mind you, there are a couple of London sisters I know who say they wear the nikab at anti-war marches because they can't stand the smell of spliffs. I am afraid Islamophobia has become the last refuge of the racist scoundrel. But the cowardly, chauvinistic attacks launched - largely by men - is unacceptable to Muslimahs as well as their secular, female sisters from the left. I was a feminist for many years and now, as an Islamic feminist, I still promote womens' rights. The only difference is Muslim feminists are more radical than their secular counterparts. We all hate those ghastly beauty pageants, and tried to stop laughing when the emergence of Miss Afghanistan in bikini was hailed as a giant leap for women's liberation in Afghanistan. I've been back to Afghanistan many times and I can tell you there are no career women emerging from the rubble in Kabul. My Afghan sisters say they wish the West would drop its obsession with the bhurka. "Don't try turning me into a career woman, get my husband a job first. Show me how I can send my children to school without fear of them being kidnapped. Give me security and bread on the table," one sister told me. Young feminist Muslimahs see the hijab and the nikab as political symbols as well as a religious requirement. Some say it is their way of showing the world they reject the excesses of Western lifestyles such as binge drinking, casual sex, drug-taking etc. Superiority in Islam is accomplished through piety, not beauty, wealth, power, position or sex. Now you tell me what is more liberating. Being judged on the length of your skirt and the size of your cosmetically enhanced breasts, or being judged on your character, mind and intelligence? Glossy magazines tell us as women that unless we are tall, slim and beautiful we will be unloved and unwanted. The pressure on teenage magazine readers to have a boyfriend is almost obscene. Islam tells me that I have a right to an education and it is my duty to go out and seek knowledge whether I am single or married. No where in the framework of Islam are we told as women that we must do washing, cleaning or cooking for men - but it is not just Muslim men who need to re-evaluate women in their home. Check out this 1992 exert from a Pat Robertson speech revealing his views on empowered women. And then you tell me who is civilized and who is not. He said: "FEMINISM ENCOURAGES WOMEN TO LEAVE THEIR HUSBANDS, KILL THEIR CHILDREN, PRACTICE WITCHCRAFT, DESTROY CAPITALISM AND BECOME LESBIANS". Here is an American man living in a pre-Islamic age who needs to modernize and civilize. People like him are wearing a veil and we need to tear that veil of bigotry away so people can see Islam for what it is. Yvonne Ridley is a British broadcaster who reverted to Islam after being captured by the Taliban. Find out more about her in her website.

About This Blog

In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
 
This blog is a personal collection of a girl in her efforts to find the meaning of life through her identity as a Muslim woman. It is a lifetime journey of spirituality and full-time living. Through articles she found while browsing, the books that she read, the movies and documentaries she's watched, the sermons she'd heard, she rationalises and absorbs with her mind and her heart.

So this is the collection of her journey. To preserve the things she'd learnt, so that she might refer back to it again when she's lost or she has forgotten, and to educate her future children. It also chronicles her efforts, her opinions in trying to fathom the things she had learnt to be a good Muslimah. And also, I present this blog to you, dear reader, to keep inspiring you to be close to Him, Allah SWT, the Lord of the Worlds.

May this blog fulfil its purpose. Amin ya rabbal 'alamin.

Surat Untuk Anakku

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim

Anakku,
Saat aku menulis surat ini, aku sedang memikirkan dirimu. Aku cemas memikirkan kelak dunia macam apa yang harus engkau hadapi. Aku sekarang seorang gadis, hanya bisa mempersiapkan diri supaya engkau bisa menghadapi dunia lebih baik dari yang aku alami.

Anakku,
Aku akan menjadi wanita yang paling bahagia saat engkau lahir di dunia, karena Allah telah menitipkan padaku suatu amanah yang akan kuemban dengan seluruh kemampuan yang aku miliki. Dari sekarang, sebelum engkau lahir, aku berdoa agar kelak engkau menjadi rahmatan lil ‘alamin, dan setiap sisi jauh lebih baik dari diriku.

Anakku,
Akan kulakukan segalanya untuk bisa mengantarmu menjadi anak yang shalih, tiada yang kuminta dari dirimu agar engkau senantiasa menjaga dirimu dan imanmu. Ingatlah anakku, meskipun diriku sangat menyayangimu, Allah jauh lebih mengasihimu. Jangan pernah melupakanNya apalagi mengingkariNya. Dan saat aku tidak ada, saat segalanya telah terenggut darimu dan dunia mengucilkanmu, ingat ada satu yang tidak bisa mereka ambil darimu: imanmu. Mereka para pencinta dunia bisa merampas segalanya darimu, dari yang terlihat maupun yang tidak terlihat. Namun imanmu, dan keteguhan yang ada di dalam hatimu, adalah sesuatu yang tidak pernah bisa mereka ambil. Maka jagalah imanmu, anakku, jagalah iman dan hatimu, agar tetap suci, agar tetap dekat dan merindu pada Allah swt. InsyaAllah, Allah pun akan menjagamu tetap kepadaNya.

Anakku,
Saat ini PR-ku masih banyak. Masih banyak buku, kitab dan artikel yang harus kupelajari, majlis yang harus kudatangi, taushiah yang harus kudengar, dan pengalaman hidupku dan orang lain yang harus kuambil hikmahnya… agar aku bisa pantas menjadi ibumu. Aku ingin menjadi ibu yang bisa mendidikmu, mengajarkan kepadamu tentang hakikatmu sebagai manusia. Aku ingin engkau mengenal Penciptamu dan kekasihNya Rasulullah saw. Pelajari, renungkan, dan jalanilah takdirmu sebagai khalifah di bumi ini, yang menyuruh kepada kebaikan dan mencegah kemungkaran, serta melakukan perbaikan terhadap segala kerusakan yang telah terjadi. Pelajari, renungkan dan jalanilah dengan berpedoman kepada Al-Qur’an dan hadits. Dalam perjalananmu mencari kebenaran, engkau akan dihadapkan pada persimpangan. Engkau akan mengalami batasan-batasan dalam memaknai Kitabullah dan hadits-hadits. Namun tetaplah berpegang pada keyakinan bahwa itulah yang datang dari Allah, tetaplah berdoa agar ditunjukkan yang haq itu haq, dan yang bathil itu bathil.

Anakku,
Persimpangan akan selalu engkau temui nanti. Manusia pada dasarnya bersifat lemah, dengan iman yang bisa naik dan bisa turun. Maka dari itu berdoalah selalu, berdoalah pada Yang Rahman, Sang Maha Pembolak-balik Hati, agar hatimu tetap teguh berpegang pada jalan Allah. Berdoalah agar selalu diberi petunjuk. Tetaplah istiqamah.

Anakku,
Aku berpesan agar engkau menjadi orang yang pengasih. Kasihilah semua saudaramu dan bantulah mereka dengan apa yang kau punya. Ingatlah selalu kepada anak yatim, santuni mereka, meskipun sedikit, dan senantiasa doakan mereka.
Kepada putriku aku khusus berpesan, jadilah perempuan yang pengasih namun tetap berpendirian. Engkau sebagai wanita adalah perhiasan, maka dari itu jagalah dirimu agar tetap indah dan bersinar dengan cahaya iman. Engkau mungkin bertanya mengapa dunia tidak adil bagimu, ketahuilah, jalan Islam yang kau pilih adalah tapak yang paling memuliakan dirimu. Pelajarilah itu, putri cantikku, dan engkau pun akan mengerti.
Kepada putraku aku khusus berpesan, agar menyayangi kami para perempuan. Kelembutan kami, balaslah dengan kelembutanmu juga. Jangan pernah bersikap kasar terhadap kami. Jangan pernah menganggap kami tidak pantas akan hak-hak tertentu apalagi menindas kami. Telah jelas dituangkan dalam kitabNya bahwa perempuan dan laki-laki ada fitrahnya masing-masing. Karena itu, salinglah menghormati satu sama lain, jangan saling menyakiti.

Anakku,
Dunia tidak akan mudah kepadamu nanti. Umat kita terpecah-belah, ditindas dan dizhalimi. Engka akan menghadapi serangan yang bertubi-tubi dari segala sisi, baik yang jelas maupun yang bersembunyi. Setan tidak akan menyerah, anakku. Namun ia juga telah berjanji, bahwa pengaruhnya tidak akan bisa menggerakkan hati yang berserah diri kepada Allah. Jadi anakku, berhati-hatilah terhadap mereka yang ingin melenakanmu dengan nikmat dunia. Berhati-hatilah terhadap mereka yang melecehkan agamamu. Berdoalah untuk kedamaian, sebagai fitrah kita sebagai Muslim, karena agama kita adalah damai. Berjuanglah dengan bijak untuk menegakkan tiang agamamu. Aku tidak meminta banyak, hanya mulai dari yang kecil dan dari hati yang bersungguh-sungguh.

Anakku,
Memang besar harapanmu pada dirimu. Namun tiada beda dari harapan setiap orang tua, agar anaknya bisa lebih baik darinya. Aku berdoa semoga Allah senantiasa mencurahkan rahmatNya kepadamu, mendekatkanmu kepada kebaikan, dan memberkahimu dengan iman dan takwa. Semoga Allah mengabulkan doaku. Amin ya rabbal 'alamin

Jakarta, 26 January 2010 22:35PM